Weddings and madness go hand in hand – right? It seems like there are about a million big and little decisions to make, and so many different things that could go wrong.
You couldn’t possibly pull off a stress-free wedding day without all of the attached madness – could you?
You can have a magical, madness free wedding day and still get everything you always fantasised about for a dream celebration. You don’t need to get lost in the stress of the planning or the whirlwind of the day itself.
Let’s have a look at the reasons for some of the wedding day madness, and how to avoid creating that stress for yourself.
You want everything to be perfect
It is completely natural to want everything on your wedding day to be just perfect. You only get one chance at this, right? You want to wow everyone who comes, and create a day that tells your love story in perfect detail.
If you have a need to control things, or you are just so pulled in by the desire to create the perfect wedding, you might be in for some stress.
It is natural to want a perfect wedding. It is also natural and extremely likely that everything won’t go according to plan.
You may need to accept the possibility that things will turn out their own special way instead of how you planned them, and be ok with this, to have a stress-free wedding day. Not everything will be perfect, but remember this is just one day. Look forward to your happy future together – even wedding disasters don’t mean you’ll have a bad marriage.
You’ll be much happier and have better memories if you just accept imperfection on the day and have the time of your life anyway. And remember that wedding disasters make the best photos!
You have to consider everyone else’s opinions
Weddings, in theory, are all about the couple getting married, but in fact, can end up being about everyone else around them.
You might be obsessed with what your Mum or Bestie think of your gown. You might be worried about offending your in-laws if you don’t invite their friends from high school, and their dentist, and their dentist’s high school friends.
You might be trying to lose weight to look the best you possibly can, or trying to host the most extravagant event that your city has ever seen.
All of this is about other people’s opinions of your wedding. It is about trying to please people, or trying not to put people’s noses out of joint.
The weight of what everybody around you thinks and feels about your wedding day is massive. There are two ways to avoid this weight – either elope so that you please no one and consider no opinions, or you learn not to care so much about everybody else thinks.
You will definitely either offend people, or shock them, or have them turning up their noses saying, ‘Well, I wouldn’t have done it like that!’ I know of one MIL who was furious at the groom for the way the wind was blowing his hair in the photos – even years later, this was still his fault!
A stress-free wedding comes from being able to roll with the knowledge that you can’t make everyone happy. You can aim for the best, and try to create the day that best sums up you as a couple, but you will need to say to yourself, ‘I can’t please them all, so I’m going to stop trying.’
You don’t want to go over budget
Money is a very real stress-point for couples for their wedding. These things cost on average well over $50k these days. Whatever your budget is, you need to be aware of how much spending you are doing, and how to bring all of your wants and desires into that budget.
Some people will only have a little to spend, some will have a lot more, but most people will have to stick to some form of a budget.
And with so many things to buy or spend the money on, the stress of trying to keep track of all of that can be huge. And nerve-wracking.
There is just too much for one person to handle
Many couples (or let’s be honest, many brides…) will try to plan the whole things on their own. Sometimes the only way to do something properly is to handle it yourself – right?
You can plan and strategise and organise forever, but there are still going to be a zillion little jobs that need taking care of. And as the day gets closer, these jobs will increase and get closer together, giving you less of a window to get them all done in.
If planning a wedding seems like too much for one person to handle, that’s because it usually is.
Tips for a Magical, Madness Free Wedding
- Accept help when it is offered, and ask for help when it isn’t
- Practice some form of relaxation technique such as mindfulness, meditation or yoga whenever you start to feel overwhelmed
- Take time out from planning to have fun or be nice to yourself
- Remember that it isn’t about this one day, it’s about the rest of your lives together. Perhaps have some date nights in there to help you remember that
- Tap into apps to help you organise and plan your wedding, such as Manage My Wedding
- Track your expenses in a spreadsheet, or again in a good app designed just for this purpose. Remember to include everything, not just the bigger stuff. The little costs all add up.
Slow Down and Be in the Moment
Plan some special little moments during your wedding day to help you remember to stop and just experience the moment.
This can include inserting some personal jokes between you and your partner, or wearing a piece of jewellery from a beloved family member. You might like to get a friend to remind you every so often on the day to just look around, breathe in deeply and take it all in.
Your wedding day will be magical because it is just that – your wedding day. All of your planning and organising can’t automatically make that happen, or take that away; you just need to remember to experience this moment with the love of your life.
Main Photo by Down Brushwood Road Photography